When Life Knocks You Down (and How to Get Back Up Stronger)

Think back on the challenges you’ve faced in your life. Some of them may feel like small bumps in the road now, but when you were in them, they felt enormous, overwhelming, maybe even insurmountable.

I’ve had a few of those myself.

Two career-shaking layoffs—even after long, successful runs as a senior leader. Years of struggling with obesity, carrying the physical and emotional weight of that burden. These were seasons where I didn’t see myself as strong or capable. I didn’t see the lessons. I only saw the pain.

At the time, my inner voice was cruel: You’re not good enough. You’re not smart enough. You’ll never climb this mountain. Just surrender and play small.

But here’s the shift I can see now, looking back: those same experiences are the very things I now carry with pride. Not pride in the suffering, but pride in the strength I eventually discovered in myself. Pride in the fact that I didn’t stay down, that I let those hard moments refine me. And now, they’re part of what allows me to connect with others who are struggling.

The First Fall: Losing a Job after 13 Years

The first layoff was brutal. I had been with the company for nearly 13 years—long enough to build something, long enough to pour my heart into the work.

I had grown the company significantly, built deep and lasting client relationships, and had colleagues I genuinely admired and enjoyed. I thought I was secure. I thought I’d be there until I chose to leave.

And then the venture capitalists came. The company was purchased, reorganized, and I was out.

To make matters worse, I had signed an iron-clad non-compete agreement that tied my hands for two full years. Two years where I couldn’t work in my own industry. Two years where the career I’d invested so much in suddenly had no outlet.

The ground dropped out from under me. And I spiraled into self-doubt. If I were truly talented, wouldn’t they have kept me? If I mattered as much as I thought, wouldn’t I still have a seat at the table?

I let that experience define me for a long time. I internalized it as a failure instead of seeing the bigger picture.

The Second Fall: The Start-Up That Broke My Heart

You’d think that after surviving one career shake-up, I’d be more prepared for the second. But no.

The second layoff came at a start-up, where I had joined the leadership team. I knew the risks of start-ups, but I believed in the vision and dove in wholeheartedly. About a year in, the financial reality hit. The company was faltering, and all leadership salaries—including mine—were slashed.

We were told: Hang in there. If we hit our goals, you’ll not only get your compensation back, but you’ll also receive a hefty bonus.

I hung in there. I worked hard. I gave them everything I had.

And then I was laid off. The only leader laid off. No bonus. No restoration of salary. Not even a severance package. Later, I learned that those who stayed received both their back pay and their bonuses.

The sting of that was deep. It felt targeted. Personal. And devastating.

Once again, the cruel inner voice took over: You’re disposable. You’re not worth fighting for. You must not be as capable as you thought.

The Hidden Lessons

Both of those experiences left scars. But scars can be evidence of healing if we let them.

Here’s what I eventually realized:

• I learned more than I lost. I had built skills, knowledge, and relationships in both roles. That experience didn’t vanish just because the roles did.

• Sometimes it’s not about me. At the start-up, the founder was able to step back into the role I had been carrying. Financially, it made sense for him to take the reins again. It wasn’t about my worth—it was about math.

• Misery is a teacher, too. The truth is, I wasn’t even happy in that type of role. I dreaded conversations about my work because it drained me. The layoffs, painful as they were, freed me from something I didn’t want to admit wasn’t right for me.

When I look back now, I can actually be grateful. Those experiences carved out space for me to step into more authentic work. They gave me empathy for others navigating the crushing blow of job loss or personal struggles. They showed me that resilience is not about never falling down—it’s about learning how to get back up.

Struggles With Weight: A Different Kind of Mountain

For years, I carried extra weight, both physically and emotionally. Obesity wasn’t just about my body—it was about my self-worth.

Every diet I tried and failed reinforced the belief that I wasn’t disciplined enough, wasn’t strong enough, wasn’t good enough. I played small in so many areas of life because I believed my size made me unworthy of being seen, of being celebrated, of fully participating.

And just like with my career challenges, it wasn’t until I shifted perspective that I began to heal.

Losing weight wasn’t just about the scale—it was about learning to treat myself with kindness. To separate my value from my appearance. To believe that I was worthy of health, joy, and confidence, regardless of the number on the tag in my clothes.

A Client’s Story: From Defeat to Discovery

Not long ago, I worked with a client who had also been laid off. She was in her 50s, with a long, successful track record in her industry, and suddenly she felt invisible. She told me through tears, “I feel like I’ve been discarded, like I don’t matter anymore.”

Her confidence was shattered. She couldn’t even bring herself to update her résumé, let alone imagine interviewing again.

Together, we worked on reframing. Instead of seeing her layoff as proof that she wasn’t valuable, we began to uncover the skills, relationships, and wisdom she had built over decades. Slowly, she started to see that what felt like rejection was actually an opportunity—an opening for something new.

Within a few months, she wasn’t just updating her résumé—she was confidently interviewing, showing up as the experienced leader she truly was. She landed a role that lit her up in ways her previous job never did.

When she called to tell me, her exact words were: “I feel like I got myself back.”

That’s the power of reframing. That’s the shift from defeat to discovery.

Looking Back, Looking Forward

It’s almost laughable now how differently I tell these stories, depending on the timeline.

In the moment: shame, fear, and self-doubt. Looking back: resilience, growth, and strength.

The circumstances didn’t change. I did.

That’s the part I want you to take away: the meaning of your struggle may not be visible yet. You may still be in the messy middle. You may still be telling yourself that you’re unworthy, not smart enough, not capable enough.

But that’s not the truth.

The truth is: you’re in the middle of building your comeback story.

Coaching Takeaway: Reframing the Narrative

Here’s a tool I often share with my clients: reframe your story in real time.

Instead of waiting years to look back with gratitude, practice asking yourself in the moment:

• What could this challenge be teaching me?

• What skills or strengths am I building right now, even if I can’t see them clearly yet?

• How might this situation look different if I revisit it five years from now?

This doesn’t mean pretending pain doesn’t exist. It means holding space for the possibility that your struggle has purpose.

Why I Share This With You

I share these stories not because I enjoy revisiting the pain—they still sting. But I share them because I know how lonely it feels to be in the middle of the storm.

If you’re facing a layoff, a health challenge, a relationship setback, or a personal failure that feels unbearable, please hear this: you are not broken. You are not less-than. You are not defined by this season.

And you don’t have to go through it alone.

As a coach, my greatest honor is to walk with people through their challenges, to help them reframe their story, and to remind them of their strength until they can see it for themselves.

An Invitation

If anything in my story—or my client’s story—resonated with you, I invite you to take the next step.

Let’s connect for a discovery call. No pressure, just a safe space to talk about what you’re facing and explore how coaching could support you.

Because sometimes, the greatest gift we can give ourselves is the courage to ask for help, to believe that we’re worthy of support, and to trust that even when life knocks us down—we can get back up stronger.