Food and the Holidays: How to Enjoy the Season Without Losing Yourself

The holidays have a way of sneaking up on us. One moment we’re carving pumpkins and sweeping up leaves, and the next we’re surrounded by twinkling lights, invitations, festive drinks, and—of course—food. If you’re anything like most people, food is woven into every corner of this season. It shows up at work, at friends’ gatherings, at family dinners, on the counter “just because,” and sometimes even in the form of a delivery order on a day that already felt too full.

And while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with loving holiday food (because honestly…what else carries so much nostalgia and comfort on a single plate?), this time of year can also bring up guilt, stress, old habits, and stories we thought we let go of long ago.

So today, I want to write about the relationship many of us have with food during the holidays—not from a place of rules, restriction, or “earning your meal,” but from a place of kindness, curiosity, and choice. Because that is where peace lives.

Why Food Feels Bigger During the Holidays

Let’s start with the obvious: food isn’t just food this time of year.

Holiday meals are memories.

Holiday treats are traditions.

Holiday snacks are connectors—they’re how we linger around the kitchen island and stay talking just a little longer.

Food is emotional, cultural, and relational. That’s why simply telling yourself, “I’m going to be disciplined this year” often doesn’t work. Because discipline isn’t what the season is calling you toward. Connection is.

And connection, by the way, is wonderful—until it becomes tangled with pressure, people-pleasing, or anxiety.

You might recognize some of these common holiday thoughts:

• “If I don’t try my aunt’s pie, she’ll notice.”

• “Everyone else is going back for seconds… should I?”

• “I shouldn’t be eating this, but it’s the holidays…”

• “I’ve already blown it. I’ll start over in January.”

• “Why am I eating this? I’m not even hungry.”

If any of these sound familiar, you’re not alone. This season tends to amplify the parts of our relationship with food that feel fragile or unresolved. But the holidays can also be a beautiful opportunity to get to know yourself better—and to practice showing up for yourself in ways that feel grounded and kind.

You Are Allowed to Enjoy Your Food

This is the part of the blog I want you to read twice: you do not need to earn your holiday food, and you do not need to apologize for enjoying it.

Let’s take a breath and say that again.

You are allowed to enjoy holiday food.

There is nothing morally wrong with sugar or carbs or rich traditional dishes. There is nothing shameful about choosing to indulge in something that brings you joy or comfort. Food is not a test of your willpower or a measure of your worth.

And yet—for many of us—there’s a mental tug-of-war that starts as early as November and doesn’t end until the menorah or last ornament is packed away.

So how do you enjoy your food and still feel good in your body and your choices?

By shifting away from all-or-nothing thinking.

“All or Nothing” Is the Real Holiday Thief

When my clients come to me feeling stressed about holiday eating, the pattern is nearly always the same:

They go into the season with strict expectations.

They break one of their internal rules.

They feel guilty or discouraged.

They say, “Forget it,” and throw out all their intentions.

January becomes a time of starting over—again.

The problem isn’t the food. It’s the extremes.

“All or nothing” thinking either locks you into rigid restriction or drops you into a complete lack of trust in yourself. Neither helps you feel grounded or empowered.

Imagine if the holidays felt like a middle path instead—where you could enjoy the foods you love, listen to your body, and hold space for both celebration and wellbeing.

That’s the balance we’re going for.

Before You Eat, Pause and Ask Yourself: “What Do I Want Right Now?”

One of the simplest and most powerful tools you can use this season is a 10-second pause.

Right before you reach for the cookie, or the extra serving, or the snack on the counter even though you just ate, pause and ask yourself:

“What do I want right now?”

You might be surprised by the answers that come up:

• “Something sweet because it reminds me of my grandmother.”

• “A break from this stressful conversation.”

• “Connection—I want to stand here with everyone else.”

• “Comfort.”

• “A little joy.”

• “Honestly? I’m bored.”

• “I’m tired.”

• “I’m hungry and this looks good.”

None of these answers is wrong.

But knowing what you actually want helps you choose your food—instead of eating automatically or reactively.

When you understand your motive, you can make the decision that will truly support you. And that takes you out of guilt and into empowerment.

Your Body’s Wisdom Doesn’t Disappear During the Holidays

Here’s something clients often forget: your body still communicates with you during the holidays. Hunger cues, fullness cues, cravings, energy dips, emotional signals—they don’t go away just because it’s a festive month.

The challenge is that the holidays are louder.

More distractions.

More emotions.

More options.

More social pressure.

So your job isn’t to eliminate the noise. It’s simply to tune in through the noise.

Here are a few gentle ways to reconnect with your body during holiday meals:

1. Check in with your hunger level before eating

Am I truly hungry, somewhat hungry, or not hungry at all?

No judgment—just awareness.

2. Taste your food

If the first bite isn’t as good as you expected, you get to stop. You don’t have to finish anything out of obligation.

3. Slow down enough to notice fullness

Fullness doesn’t have to mean stuffed. It can simply mean satisfied.

4. Wait 5 minutes before going back for seconds

This isn’t a rule—it’s a pause. A moment to ask what your body wants versus what your habits want.

5. Remember that food is part of the experience—not the whole experience

Presence brings pleasure. Pleasure brings satisfaction. Satisfaction reduces overeating.

You don’t need to restrict anything. You just need to stay connected to yourself.

If You Overeat (Which Happens!), You’re Not Doing Anything Wrong

Let’s normalize this right now: overeating sometimes is human. Overeating during the holidays is extremely human.

If it happens, here’s what you do:

• Take a breath.

• Be kind to yourself.

• Drink water.

• Go for a short walk to help digestion if that feels good.

• Move on.

Shame does not support your health. Guilt does not reset your behavior. Beating yourself up does not prevent it from happening again.

Compassion is what helps you learn, grow, and return to the version of yourself you want to be.

People Will Have Opinions—That Doesn’t Mean You Have to Absorb Them

Let’s talk about family dynamics for a moment, because holiday meals often come with commentary:

• “Are you sure you want seconds?”

• “You’re being so good this year!”

• “I made this just for you—you have to try it!”

• “Aren’t you on a diet?”

• “Wow, you’re eating that?”

Food comments—whether well-intentioned or not—can be uncomfortable or triggering. (So triggering that they led to me yo-yo dieting after losing 96 pounds. Read about that here.)

Here’s a little reminder:

You do not owe anyone an explanation about what you choose to eat.

If you want phrases to keep in your back pocket, here are a few:

• “I’m listening to my body today.”

• “I’m good for now, but thank you.”

• “I’m enjoying what I have.”

• “I’ll decide in a few minutes.”

• “I’m not hungry right now.”

Simple. Polite. Boundaried.

Your plate is your domain, and you are allowed to protect that space.

Food Is Connection—But So Are Other Things

Sometimes we use food as the main connector during the holidays, but the truth is there are so many other beautiful ways to be present and engaged:

• Sharing stories

• Taking a walk with someone you love

• Playing a board game

• Looking through old photos

• Cooking together, not just eating

• Holding a baby or petting the family dog

• Sitting near the fireplace

• Saying something meaningful to someone you care about

Food can accompany connection, but it doesn’t have to be the entire centerpiece.

When you broaden your ways of connecting, food naturally loses the pressure-filled role it often plays.

A Holiday Season That Feels Like You

More than anything, I want you to feel at home in yourself during the holidays.

Not perfect.

Not controlled.

Not overly careful.

Just grounded, intentional, and free.

The holidays can be joyful and nostalgic, but they can also be emotional, messy, stressful, or complicated. Whether this season feels light for you or heavy for you, gentle or overwhelming, you deserve to treat yourself with kindness.

Food is meant to be enjoyed—not feared or obsessed over. It can be a bridge between people, a comfort during hard moments, and a celebration all on its own.

You can trust yourself around food.

You can listen to your body.

You can make choices you feel proud of.

And you can also have the cookie just because you want it.

This year, let your holiday meals be a place where you meet yourself—not a place where you judge yourself.

Here’s to a season full of warmth, pleasure, presence, and compassion—for your body, your mind, and your heart.

If you'd like to discuss how I may support you in changing your relationship with food, please Schedule a FREE Discovery Call.