Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Tanya Rinsky Coaching
Oct 28, 2025
6 min read

You’ve probably heard the phrase before: “Don’t believe everything you think.” It sounds simple enough or maybe kitschy — something you'd see on a mug or in a meme, but behind that short sentence is one of the most powerful mindset shifts you can ever make.

Because the truth is, most of us go through life assuming our thoughts are facts.

We think, “I’m not good at this,” and believe it’s true.

We think, “They must be mad at me,” and assume it’s a fact.

We think, “I’ll never change,” and eventually stop trying.

But thoughts aren’t facts. They’re stories — running commentaries our brain creates, often without our permission, based on old experiences, fears, insecurities, and outdated beliefs.

And when we don’t question them, they ultimately become our reality.

The Trouble With Taking Your Thoughts Too Seriously

Your brain is a meaning-making machine. Its job is to interpret the world, predict outcomes, and keep you safe. It’s constantly scanning for danger — not just physical threats, but emotional ones too. Rejection, embarrassment, failure — your brain reacts to those as if they’re life-threatening.

So when something happens — someone doesn’t text back, a project doesn’t go well, a friend seems distant — your brain doesn’t just observe; it fills in the blanks with a story.

“They must not like me anymore.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“I always mess things up.”

And because these thoughts come from inside your own head, they feel true.

But here’s the catch: your brain doesn’t care about truth — it cares about safety. It would rather make up a story that keeps you cautious than admit uncertainty.

Which means many of your thoughts are not accurate reflections of reality — they’re protective guesses.

How Thoughts Become Beliefs

A thought is just an electrical signal that flashes through your brain. It’s fleeting — it doesn’t become powerful until you repeat it enough times. That’s when it becomes a belief.

Think of it like this: imagine your brain as a field of grass. Every time you think a thought, you walk a path through that field. The more you repeat it, the more worn that path becomes — until eventually, it’s automatic.

“I’m not good with money.”

“I’ll never lose weight.”

“I can’t handle change.”

Say it enough times, and your brain stops questioning it. It becomes your mental autopilot. You don’t even need evidence anymore — the belief has carved itself so deeply that it feels like a fact.

That’s why self-awareness is so essential. Because until you learn to observe your thoughts, you’ll assume they’re the truth — and you’ll live your life according to them.

The Cost of Believing Everything You Think

When you treat every thought as truth, your world shrinks. You stay stuck in patterns, stop taking risks, you second-guess your choices, you replay conversations, and you carry guilt or worry that isn’t even yours.

You might recognize this pattern:

You get an idea for something you’d love to do.
Then your mind instantly chimes in with: “Who are you kidding? I can't do that.”
You hesitate. You analyze. You talk yourself out of it.

And then you feel frustrated — not just at the missed opportunity, but at yourself.

That’s the trap of over-identifying with your thoughts. You confuse mental noise with inner wisdom.

But wisdom feels calm, clear, and grounded — it doesn’t attack you or make you anxious. The anxious voice is fear, dressed up as logic.

When you learn to separate the two, life opens up in ways that may surprise you.

Learning to Question Your Thoughts

So how do you stop believing everything you think?

It starts with curiosity. Not judgment, not force — just curiosity.

Here’s a simple exercise I use with coaching clients:

1. Catch the thought. Notice what your mind is saying when you feel stressed, anxious, or discouraged. Maybe it’s: “I’m never going to get this right.”

2. Ask: Is it true? Not “do I feel it’s true?” — but objectively, is it true? Can you absolutely know it’s true?

3. Ask: What’s another way to see this? What would someone who loves and believes in you say about this situation?

4. Ask: What happens when I believe this thought? Notice how it affects your mood, your confidence, your behavior.

5. Ask: Who would I be without it? How might you act or feel if you didn’t assume that thought was true?

6. Thank the thought. Acknowledge that the thought is trying to protect you from something. Gently tell yourself that you're ok; you're making a healthier change and you'll be safe with this new way of thinking.

These questions don’t magically erase old beliefs, but they loosen their grip. You start to see that thoughts are options, not orders.

The Mind Isn’t the Enemy

This isn’t about silencing your thoughts or pretending everything’s fine. Your mind has a job — to think, to analyze, to make sense of things. The goal isn’t to stop thinking. It’s to stop identifying with your thoughts.

Imagine sitting by a river, watching leaves float by. Each leaf is a thought — some light, some heavy, some surprising. You can notice them, even name them — “there’s worry,” “there’s judgment,” “there’s self-doubt.” But you don’t have to jump in and chase every one.

The problem comes when we grab a leaf, hold onto it, and let it pull us downstream.

Mindfulness, journaling, or even a short daily pause can help you practice this detachment. You start realizing, “Oh, I’m having the thought that I can’t do this” — which is very different from “I can’t do this.” That tiny shift in language is the start of mental freedom.

Real-Life Example: The Story Isn’t Always True

A client once told me she was convinced her coworkers didn’t respect her. Every meeting left her tense, replaying what she said, sure she sounded incompetent.

So I asked, “How do you know they don’t respect you?”

She said, “Because they interrupt me all the time.”

Then we looked closer. She realized they interrupted everyone — that’s just how her team communicated. And when she started speaking with more confidence (something she learned in my coaching) instead of assuming she was being dismissed, they responded differently.

Her behavior changed because her belief changed.

When you stop believing everything you think, you stop reacting to things that may not be true. You respond to reality.

How This Translates to Daily Life

You can apply this everywhere:

When you feel someone’s upset with you — pause. You might be assuming.
When you doubt your ability — ask if you’ve confused discomfort with incapability.
When you’re replaying a mistake — ask if you’re seeing the full picture or just your guilt.

Here’s the truth: Your mind is great at creating meaning but not always great at getting it right.

That’s why self-coaching tools — reflection, journaling, or working with a coach — are so valuable.

They give you a mirror to see your own thinking patterns clearly, so you can challenge the ones holding you back.

Freedom Begins With Awareness

The moment you realize your thoughts are not you, everything changes.

You begin to see that you have choices. You can question the stories you’ve been telling yourself for years — the ones about not being enough, or being too old, or always messing things up.

You can thank your mind for trying to protect you and then choose a different path.

You can say, “That’s an interesting thought — but I don’t have to live by it.”

That’s where real personal growth begins — not in forcing positivity, but in creating distance between you and the voice in your head that doesn’t always tell the truth.

Final Thought

When you stop believing everything you think, you start living from a deeper place — not fear, not habit, but awareness.

You become more compassionate with yourself and others. You become curious instead of defensive. You become free to act according to your values instead of your insecurities.

And that’s the kind of quiet transformation that changes everything — not because your circumstances shift overnight, but because the lens through which you see them does.

So next time your mind starts whispering, “You can’t,” “You shouldn’t,” or “You’re not enough,” pause and ask: