Why Past Diets Didn’t Work — And Why It’s Not Your Fault

If you’ve ever stared at the scale in frustration after another attempt at dieting, you’re not alone. Most of the clients I work with have a long history of trying different diets — sometimes for decades. Keto, paleo, Weight Watchers, intermittent fasting, juice cleanses, you name it (you can read about all of the diets I tried in my weight loss story here). Each time, they start with hope and determination. And each time, when the diet doesn’t “stick,” they feel defeated.

Here’s the truth I want you to take in fully: it was never your fault.

The diet failed you. You did not fail the diet.

That might feel hard to believe at first, but let me explain.

Why Diets Are Designed to Fail

Most diets are built around one thing: restriction. They focus on cutting calories, eliminating entire food groups, or following rigid rules that leave no room for real life.

But here’s what happens when you restrict too much, too fast:

• Your body fights back. When you cut calories drastically, your metabolism slows down. Your body thinks it’s in danger and starts conserving energy. You feel tired, sluggish, and yes — hungrier than ever.

• Your cravings skyrocket. That “forbidden food” suddenly becomes all you can think about. The brain is wired to obsess over scarcity. If I told you not to think about chocolate cake, what pops into your mind immediately? Exactly.

• You feel deprived. Social events become stressful. Eating out feels impossible. Food goes from being enjoyable to being a constant mental battle.

• The rebound is built in. Once the diet ends (or you can’t take it anymore), the weight comes back — sometimes more than before. That cycle of lose–gain–lose–gain? That’s not a lack of discipline. It’s biology doing what it’s designed to do.

Diets are set up like quick-fix band-aids, not long-term solutions. They’re businesses, after all — and repeat customers are good for business.

The Shame Spiral

And yet, when the diet inevitably collapses, most people don’t blame the diet. They blame themselves.

• “I didn’t have enough willpower.”

• “If I were stronger, I could have stuck with it.”

• “This must mean I’ll never be successful at losing weight.”

Sound familiar?

This is where shame enters the picture. And shame is one of the most damaging forces in weight loss. It convinces you that you are broken, when in reality, the system was broken all along.

A New Way to Look at “Failure”

Here’s the reframe I want you to hold onto:

Every “failed” diet wasn’t a dead end — it was a lesson.

• You learned that cutting out entire food groups isn’t sustainable.

• You learned that starving yourself leaves you miserable and binge-prone.

• You learned that weight loss has to be about more than the number on the scale.

That’s valuable information. Each past attempt has given you insight into what doesn’t work for your body and your life.

Instead of seeing those experiences as failures, what if you saw them as training? Each one brought you closer to the truth: lasting weight loss comes from habits, not diets.

What Really Works

So, if diets don’t work, what does?

Here’s what I teach my clients:

1. Sustainability over speed. If you can’t imagine yourself eating this way five years from now, it’s not the right plan.

2. Balance over restriction. No food should be completely off-limits. Yes, even carbs. Yes, even dessert.

3. Mindset over willpower. Your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions shape your behaviors. That’s why coaching matters — because weight loss is just as much mental as it is physical.

4. Progress over perfection. The “all or nothing” mentality is one of the biggest enemies of success. Small, consistent changes always win.

5. Compassion over shame. You cannot hate yourself into a healthier body. You can only care for yourself into one.

A Story to Bring This Home

I once worked with a client who had been dieting for over 20 years. She could list every diet she had tried and how much weight she lost — and regained — on each one. By the time we met, she felt exhausted and hopeless.

In our first session, she said: “I don’t trust myself anymore. I always start strong and then I blow it. I think I’m just weak.”

But as we worked together, we reframed her story. She hadn’t “blown it.” She had been following plans that were never designed for her to succeed long-term.

Once she stopped dieting and started focusing on building simple, flexible habits — things like eating balanced meals, walking daily, and planning ahead for busy weeks — the weight started coming off steadily. More importantly, she felt free around food for the first time in decades.

Her story isn’t unusual. It’s the pattern I see again and again when people finally step off the diet rollercoaster.

Your Next Step

If you take only one thing from this, let it be this:

You are not broken.

Your past diets didn’t work because they were never meant to. You deserve a path that honors your body, your lifestyle, and your humanity.

And that path is possible.

If you’re tired of dieting and ready to try something different, I’d love to help. I offer discovery calls where we can talk about your history, your goals, and how to finally create a weight loss plan that works for you.

You don’t need another diet. You need a strategy — and support — that lasts.